Pants Optional

The title of this blog "Pants Optional" (conceived during procrastinatory moments / hours, during my honours year) was to be the name of my cafe / bookstore. Entirely devoted to science fiction and fantasy literature, the boy waiters would be dressed as Conan (the barbarian) and the girls as Barbarella (queen of the galaxy). A safe haven, where people could discuss Dungeons and Dragons, the Alien movie series and Kurt Vonnegut novels, free of jock oppression and pants. I contemplated the title "Owen's Philosophical Steak House" (concept courtesy of Alan Partridge), where people of all walks of life meet to talk philosophy and eat steak (my own patented vegetarian steak, "mis-steak", for non meat eating friends). Although, I abandoned the idea after realising that a good indulgent philosophical chat can give some people a stiffy (just thinking about it, in fact), which is not desirable in an eating / pants optional venue. All conversations would inevitably deteriorate to the topic of masturbation, which is enough of a problem already without it being exacerbated by, self gratifying, deep-and-meaningfuls.


Here is a picture of Gypsy and Me. Gypsy is a dog. Gypsy doesn't wear pants. (My partner Jodi wanted to dress her up a bit, but I drew the line at pants). I like to think that Gypsy is happier for it (she looks it, doesn't she?). I wear the pants in our relationship. This is not to say that I'm the dominant person. It is just that Jodi gave me a bit of a scare with her "bite the sausage" call to Gypsy as I was entering the shower one time.

I started this blog with grandiose ideas of posting pictures of people, liberated of pants, grinning at the camera, for your vicarious pleasure. Apparently this is also known as going Donald Duck. That is, sailor about the town, a promising bachelor with only his three troublesome nephews, a debilitating speech impediment and conspicuous lack of trousers to hold him back. Perhaps he lost them during some navy initiation ceremony. Of course, ducks don't wear trousers in the first place, so this is just silly. I imagine there would be an imbalance of males in my "pants off" photo series. Not that girls don't lose their pants occasionally (a quick search on the internet shows this to be the case, see www.police.vic.gov.au/hornygirlswithoutpants.html, www.feministpantsliberationfront.edu.uk and www.pantsonpets.com/noway/). It is just that I don't get invited to those types of parties.