The Pixie Princess and the Boy Who Cried for No Reason. Part Two.

Previously, we heard the story of the Pixie Princess, and so I think it only fair that this part of the story be mostly devoted to the Boy Who Cried for No Reason (which is a rather inconveniently long title to write out every time, and therefore I will henceforth refer to him simply as the Boy Who Cried). In fact, the Pixie Princess spends the entirety of this part of the story gazing up at the stars, wondering about what infinity smells like, and other appropriately profound thoughts.

At the end of the last episode the Boy Who Cried had just been born. And he cried. He didn't cry for any reason, which was why he was called the Boy Who Cried for No Reason. His mother and father were fearsome pirates (who were quite nice, really), and it was expected that he would follow in their footsteps. The Boy Who Cried very much loved growing up on the sea and he became very good at talking like a pirate, saying things like "shiver my timbers!" and calling the various people he met "scurvy bilge rats" or "land lubbers" depending on the circumstances. When he was old enough, his parents wanted him to join the boarding parties when they invaded other ships (which was really just a bit of fun to give the others a bit of a scare). But the problem was that Boy Who Cried for No Reason also could have been known as the Boy Who Cried at Inopportune Moments, and all his sooking during the boardings had the effect of ruining the game. His mother started to worry that he might be gay, even though he claimed he was just a little bit poofy. And so it was that once he had turned 11, he left the pirate life to seek his fortunes in the kingdom of Batmania.

Batmania was a wonderful place where nobody ate animals or vegetables. The favourite meal of the Batmanians was ice-cream, which they had for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The King of Batmania, who was very fat, had recently lost one of his favourite golden socks, which had been taken by a formidable monster who lived in the woods. Everybody was scared of the monster and would run away when they knew it was coming. They could tell it was about to leave its lair because it would always ring a bell when it wanted to go outside. The King, who was upset about his golden sock, had put up reward posters all over the kingdom, seeking a hero who could retrieve his sock. The reward was an invitation to a feast at the King's castle, where the hero would eat as much ice-cream with chocolate topping as he could.

The Boy Who Cried had never had ice-cream. According to his parents, pirates didn't eat ice-cream. But he was curious and set upon the quest to retrieve the golden sock. The Boy Who Cried was searching in the woods when he came upon a cave which had a sign over the entrance which read:


And so the Boy Who Cried crept into the cave. Inside, the floor was strewn with the remnants of slain Kleenex tissues. In the middle of this tissue carnage was the sleeping form of the Gyppopotamus monster and in her jaws was the King's golden sock. The Boy Who Cried very carefully retrieved the golden sock without waking the Gyppopotamus and was about to get away when he started crying again. He tried his hardest to be quiet, but he wasn't able to stop himself from waking the Gyppopotamus. When the Gyppopotamus stirred and got up, the Boy Who Cried shut his eyes, waiting... But the Gyppopotamus was actually a friendly monster and she just wanted to play with the Boy Who Cried because she was lonely. The Boy Who Cried liked the Gyppopotamus and they decided to be friends. So the two of them went to return the golden sock to the King so they could attend the ice-cream feast together...

On the way there they camped out under the stars, and the Boy Who Cried told the Gyppopotamus all the things he knew about them from his seafaring days. Little did they know that they were looking at exactly the same stars as the Pixie Princess who had just got a good idea for an infinity stink bomb.