The Pixie Princess and the Boy Who Cried for No Reason. Part One.

Jodi and Gypsy often pester me to make up stories for them. I should note here that Jodi is very much into children's literature, it being the topic of her honours thesis. Past stories I've made up for them have included "Gypsy Maude Investigates", "A Tree and a Rock: A Love Story" and "How Magic Stick got his Stickiness Back". She got all excited when I said that I'd write the next one on this blog. I hope that you also enjoy it. If not, too bad...

The Pixie Princess and the Boy Who Cried for No Reason.
Part One.

In this first part of the story there is only the pixie princess. The boy who cried for no reason wasn't born yet. In fact, the boy who cries is only born at the very end of this first part of the saga, so don't hold your breath waiting for him. The set up is fairly typical for a pixie princess: you know - an evil pixie stepmother queen and a boorish pixie prince to whom the evil pixie queen was forcing the pixie princess to be married. But the problem was that the pixie princess was not too much into the pixie prince. The pixie princess felt that the pixie prince's kisses could be likened to having a bucket of warm saliva thrown in her face. (Although, in the years to come, the pixie princess realised that the pixie prince wasn't all that bad and regretted describing him thus).

The pixie princess' real passion was in the research and development of increasingly technologically advanced stink bombs (to be used in the war efforts against the mandarin trees, which the pixies hated with a passion). Here is the ingredients of one of the recipes she won the prestigious "stinky logie" (pronounced 'loo-gee') award for:

4 brussel sprouts
3 blow flies (deceased)
1 1/2 goblin testicles
1 jar of pickled leeches
1 pint of pixie wee
2 pieces of Gypsy pooh
5 slices of devon sausage

The pixie princess lived in a tree-house built in a beautiful oak tree called Roger. The tree, Roger, was decorated with hundreds of bells and every time a strong wind blew, the bells rang with a sound like that of a school orchestra where everybody wants to play the triangle.

One day, after a particularly unsuccessful (or rather, overly successful) stink bomb experiment, the pixie princess heard sounds coming from the ground below her tree-house. She peered out of the tree-house to see a band of '80s minstrels - boys wearing eyeliner, and girls in colourful ra-ra skirts. The sounds of electronic keyboards, synthesisers and saxophone solos mixed with the sound of Roger's bells.

After witnessing this magical display, the pixie princess became convinced that her calling was amongst the big people that inhabited the ground. But the evil pixie stepmother queen had expected that the whimsical princess might try to leave the pixie kingdom and had put a curse on her. And so it was, that when she reached the ground, the pixie princess realised that the evil pixie stepmother queen had cursed her with the hairy, hooved legs of a goat and that she could never return to the pixie kingdom...

It was at this time that the boy who cried for no reason was born, and he cried for no reason.